Posts Tagged ‘social phobia’

Panic Attacks and Anxiety: The Risk of Opening Up

Without a doubt, opening up has always been a toughie for me. Still can be. My issue has always been trust, trying my best to believe that those in whom I might confide will truly listen to all I have to say; and accept it, not necessarily in agreement, without passing judgment. God only knows I’ve always been willing to do the same.

Looking back over the years, I can only imagine the price I’ve paid in relationships and personal frustration because of this opening-up dilemma. But when you really think about it, I suppose it’s not too hard to figure out why any panic sufferer would turn out to be somewhat of a recluse. I mean, we all too often don’t go anywhere because of agoraphobia, social phobia, avoidance, assorted irrational fears, etc. Hence, we kind of get in the habit of, indeed, simply avoiding people and relationships, excluding from our lives any sort of environment in which we can open-up and be comfortable in simply being ourselves. And if you’re like I was, that probably suits you just fine. Right?

Why would we want to associate with anyone? What could we possibly have to offer? Shoot, the very last thing we’d want to do is expose anyone to all the misery in our lives, and the misery of us. It’s not like they’d want to hear our long litany of pain, much less be able to understand or do anything about it. We’d just feel like a whiner. And we sure as heck don’t want to have to be confronted with the successes of others. I mean, why would we want to subject ourselves to any form of self-comparison to someone, who in our minds, we could never match. I mean, what’s the point? Not to mention, because of our fear-ridden perception of the world, who could we trust anyway? And, of course, our very low self-regard bangs these falsehoods home day in and day out.

Well, I can tell you from experience that opening myself to others wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do, and still isn’t. No doubt, there are just so many hidden agendas held deep within that keep us from really reaching out, taking the risk of being exposed. But I can also tell you that we must try as hard as we can to pull it off. There’s just too much to be missed. Now, I’m not saying we have to pour our heart and soul out to each and every person we come across. No, we just need to release ourselves from the chains of any mode of thinking that entirely excludes expressing ourselves at some decent level of depth. I mean, it’s so easy for us to be quite comfortable living the life of a recluse, but I promise it won’t be long before that lifestyle choice will turn into a highly littered dead-end street. Maybe it already has.

Trust me, there are people out there who either do, or would, really care about us and would be more than willing to accept us just the way we are, and help us leap to the next level. And the cool thing is we haven’t even met some of these people yet. We’ll miss out on so much valuable release, input, feedback, and companionship if we elect to live our lives alone, keeping all of our thoughts and feelings inside. I know it’s never been easy to trust anyone in the screwed-up and crazy world in which we live or have lived. But, that can all be a bad memory now. We really need to take a shot at being known and knowing someone else, baring a bit of our souls. Yes, it’s a risk; but we’re more than strong enough to handle it. And the potential rewards are more than fabulous.

After a winning bout with panic disorder, a career in the business world, and a part-time job working with socially challenged adolescents, Bill found his life’s passion and work. So he earned his master’s degree and counseling credentials, and is doing all he can to lend a hand to those having a tough time.

Bill has some powerful BE CALM mentoring and service packages available for panic attack sufferers on his website, which include his panic attack education and recovery eWorkbook, “Panic! …and Poetic Justice.” The eWorkbook is delivered via an immediate download. You’ll also find a link on the website to Bill’s Panic Attack Freedom! blog. Lots of good stuff going on and much more to come.

In addition to doing psychiatric emergency work, Bill continues to do a lot of writing and speaking. He’s conducted numerous mental health workshops and is available for future engagements. Bill is a national and local member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (N.A.M.I.). He resides in the far western suburbs of Chicago where he enjoys time with his two wonderful teenage children.
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Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/mental-health-articles/panic-attacks-and-anxiety-the-risk-of-opening-up-1312714.html

Posted on December 9th, 2009 by In Charge  |  No Comments »

Social Phobia – Learn About Exposure Therapy and Cognitive Restructuring Therapy!

by Bertil Hjert

Exposure therapy as treatment for Social Phobia is exactly what it sounds like, exposing your mind and body to that which you fear. By gradually exposing and training your mind that the feared event is not as horrible as you think it is, you are working to desensitize yourself to the stimulus. A). During exposure therapy, you expose yourself to small doses of the feared event and increase the duration of exposure over time. If you are afraid of talking in groups, start by imagining yourself in front of groups, then speak in front of a couple of family members or close friends, then a couple of acquaintances and build up to a room full of strangers.You don´t need to pay someone to help you; you can work on this at home.

1. Start off imagining an event that causes severe anxiety, talking to your boss, asking a girl out, talking in front of your class, whatever it may be. Feel the anxiety, nervousness and agitation wash over you. After a minute or two, withdraw your mind from that situation. You have endured it and you are still here to tell about it.

2. Increase your exposure time gradually and then work your way up to real life exposure to the situation.

B). Image desensitization is a great way and process to implement exposure therapy on your own or in a group setting.

A great place to find support while you are working to desensitize yourself to the social phobia inducing situations is to work in a group with other sufferers. By rehearsing stressful situations within a group, not only do you know you are in a safe place where you will not be judged but you might learn from other sufferer´s coping strategies.

The second part of the cognitive behavior approach involves retraining the thought process in your mind. For many anxiety sufferers, the immediate and instinctive thought reaction to stressful situations is negativity. Social phobic don´t see the glass as half full but rather half empty and dirty.

It is important to substitute positive thoughts for the negative ones and not to overestimate the dangers, reactions and thoughts in any given social situation. You have a surprising ability to cope with what the world throws at you; you just need to uncover those resources.

Cognitive restructuring is used to help social phobia sufferers uncover the thoughts that automatically flood their minds whenever they are in stressful situations. The thoughts flooding in the head probably involve fears of messing up a story, sounding stupid, having people think you are an idiot or maybe they´ll just turn their backs and walk away, completely uninterested in anything that comes out of your mouth.

Are these fears realistic? You need to test these notions to see if they compare with what will happen in the real world. You have told funny stories before, so you can probably do it again. Even if the story is stupid or uninteresting, the listeners would surely never be so rude as to turn their backs and walk away and most if not all will at the very least pretend to be interested.

However, you could also tell an interesting and engaging story that starts you down the road towards new friendships and better interaction with colleagues. If you constantly look at and examine your beliefs and rationalize them it can chip away at the long-held, negative beliefs that are holding you back. You can train your mind not to react negatively in every circumstance and certainly not to overestimate or over exaggerate the negative.

About the Author
Download your free eBook “Stop Panic Attacks and Deal with Your Anxious Thoughts” here: FREE REPORT STOP PANIC ATTACKS

- From Bertil Hjert – The author of the Panic Goodbye Program. Read more about this brand new course at the: Panic Goodbye Program

Posted on April 1st, 2009 by In Charge  |  No Comments »